Turned Tables
by Trinity Is God
Summary: Once, while painting his apartment he asked her, ”You ever think what it would be like...if you and I had ended up" “Sometimes.” She now looked at him, and wished that she had simply replied, “No, Never.”
1. The Dictionary

_Authors Note: Hey kids! lol. I thought of this when I was working today, somehow it popped into my head, the idea I mean, and it didn't turn out the way I thought it was going to, it turned out better than what I planned I like to think, so totally different from my other stories. I hope you like it, I enjoyed writing it, it was meant to be a little drabble, and it turned out more than that and its soooo not done yet. Anyway. Is anyone interested in being a beta? Email me if you are...its on the profile page.. Let me know... sometimes my grammar isn't that hot and I cant always pick up on it when I triple read my story.... Happy Holidays..._

_Vamanos. Please review. Tell me whatchuuuu think. :o) _

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"In short, Sir, THE TABLES ARE now quite TURNED upon me." - Guardian, by Addison.

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"_While we're being honest?" _

"_Ugh, there's more?"_

_-Sandy & Kirsten Cohen. _

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Jimmy ran a hand over her shoulder blade and down her back as she cried. She made a mistake. "I'm sorry. I should have stopped, I…"

_Mistake._ _Noun.Mis·take. Meaning: An error or fault resulting from defective judgment, deficient knowledge, or carelessness._ _Meaning two: A misconception or misunderstanding._

_The_ Mistake.

The very big mistake.

The costly, irreversible mistake.

No words could soothe over something like this.

The stupid, costly, irreversible, huge mistake that could cost her everything, she was so stupid.

'_So stupid.' _

'_So brainless, mindlessly, carelessly fucking STUPID.' _

All she had to do was back away, or say "No." Something, anything. But nooooo, not her. She was tempted with gasoline and a match so she decided to start the fire. Not any fire, a wild fire, a forest fire raging out of total control. Nothing could stop this beast.

Jimmy had called her, stressing over the latest issue and she had come to the rescue yet again. He may as well have said, "Jump."

She would probably have asked, "How high?"

How could she have let this happen? One minute she and Jimmy were fine, they were talking, chatting, she smiled, he grinned, and it was like old times, back when.

Then he leaned in, and kissed her, those old feelings rushed back into her body as her lips met his and suddenly he had hit that spot that could make her shiver and loose control and she fell victim to her those feelings. Those feelings that had only meant lust, and not love.

Maybe it was just the stress, and it was so easy to give in. She had too, she had given in and she hadn't even put up a fight.

'_Oh God.' _

Those feelings that she never should have acted upon, feelings she hadn't even thought about in years.

When she closed her eyes she thought he was someone else. It was so familiar and yet so different. Those were Jimmy's exact words, "Mmm so different."

_Different. dif·fer·ent Adjective. Unlike in form, quality, amount, or nature; dissimilar. Differing from all others; unusual._

Her curves were sensually different, her body structure, how much she weighed, the softness of her skin, everything was different.

'_So different.' _

The way she smelled was different, the way she bit her bottom lip was different, and the way her hands ran up in his hair was different. The fact that there was less hair and barely any for her to run her hands through, that was different.

'_So different. So very, very different.'_

Different had felt shamefully good, she felt risky, it was tempting for some odd reason.

Why not give in to temptation? Her heart had pounded and maybe she returned his kiss too willingly.

The difference as Jimmy's hands slid down her back and over her thighs, where normally someone else's would place one hand in the middle of her back securely, and let her rise to her power. He would never deny her need for power, in fact more than once he had told her with a gentle nuzzle in her neck as she straddled his lap, _"I love when you take control." _

'_Control. I love when you take control.'_

_Control. Con·trol. Verb. To exercise authoritative or dominating influence over; direct. _

Jimmy had taken control, not her. Jimmy's hands roamed her body, never stopped, always curious. Unlike someone else, who's hands knew exactly where to go, where she liked them, where she felt secure and in control.

'_Just different.'_

The way Jimmy's body moved over hers was different; the way he kissed her was different, the way his tongue danced with hers was different. The way he held her body down with his was different, the way that his hand intertwined with hers had been different, his hands were harder, his grip was stronger, not as caring or kind, his hands were more callused than those that she was used to.

Jimmy's hands ran up her ribs, down to her hips, up her flat stomach, over the bare shoulders, tracing her collarbone. They ran up her over her breasts, through the strangles of her blond hair, back down her slender hips, and down to her muscled thighs. That had been different.

She felt out of place, almost ill at ease until he took total control of the awkward situation. Until he moved her body over to the bed and covered it with kisses, until he tossed her blouse into a nearby chair, followed by her pants and everything else that needed to come off.

Those kisses attacked the soft skin below her earlobe, trailing fire down her neck, along her shoulders and arms, tingling, tempting, and begging.

Begging for her to let him continue, to never stop. He got his wish.

Raging kisses down her neck, over her collarbone, down to the soft rise of her breasts, and below them, while following the length of her ribs, his tongue tracing her stomach and feeling her muscles tense beneath it. He glanced at her but his kisses hadn't stop and she didn't refuse him, instead she closed her eyes and thought of someone else.

Her heart was racing and her rational part of her mind was screaming, "_What are you doing! WHAT ARE YOU DOING? STOP, STOP NOW."_

She shut the door to that part of her conscious and she regretted that she shouldn't have, but it wouldn't shut up.

But it had a good reason not to.

The other irrational one peeked its head out from around the corner, _'Oh, you go girl!' _That's the one she shouldn't have listened to. It had yelled advice the whole time.

She should have listened to the rational one and if she had she wouldn't be sitting here, on the bed, embarrassed, mortified, and scared. Maybe her mind was in shock when it was screaming for her to stop. Maybe every single joint, muscle and bone in her body had been in utter shock as to what was happening.

No, petrified was a better word. She wasn't scared she was petrified.

What was he going to do when he found out? _'If, he finds out,' the rational half muttered angrily. _

'_Oh my God, Oh my God, Oh My God, OHMYGOD!' The irrational, normally, rhyming conscious yelled back. 'Oh my God, you committed fraud!' Mr. Irrational sneered. _

'_Please shut up. Please.' Mr. Rational begged. _

_It was like battle of the consciousness in her head. _

Suddenly those stupid feelings that she had acted upon weren't there and she only saw Jimmy. She saw the man she had a past with and nothing else.

Once, while painting his apartment he asked her, "_You ever think what it would be like...if you and I had ended up --"_

And she had replied with a look of the past, _"Sometimes." _She watched him nod, maybe it was a satisfied nod, and maybe it wasn't. She hadn't been sure.

She now looked at him, and wished that she had simply replied, "No, Never."

She wished she never answered her phone when he had called.

She no longer looked at Jimmy, as Jimmy Cooper innocent ex-boyfriend who kissed her once and told her husband about it.

She looked at Jimmy Cooper as the man she had just cheated on her husband with.

_Cheat. Verb. cheat·ed, cheat·ing, cheats. See also __intransitive:__ To act dishonestly; practice fraud. To violate rules deliberately, as in a game. Informal. To be sexually unfaithful._

She smirked through her tears, '_God, I'm a hypocrite. I made such a big deal out of nothing with him, and I pull the exact thing that I was so scared of him doing to me.'_

_Hypocrite. Noun. : A person who professes beliefs and opinions that he/she does not hold._

_That described her. 'B-I-G hypocrite. HUGE, mammoth, titanic, gigantic.' Her conscious was doing the rhyme thing again._

Would he even bother to hear her out? Probably not, and why should he? He did nothing but bend over backwards and she treated him like crap. Time and time again.

No.

Maybe she wouldn't tell him.

That might work, but her own thoughts and guilt would eat her alive. _'They should,' her conscious chimed in. 'If I could I would, oh I would I would. If I could...I would tell him in bed, I would tell him with Ted, I would tell him while wearing red…' _

'_SHUT UP Dr. Seuss. I need to think.' The other rational half yelled. _

Maybe she should make up a story and say Jimmy drugged her.

'_How old are you, twelve?' her conscious asked angrily. 'Time to face the music kid, time to fess up to what you did, time to place a bid and tell him what you did,' Her conscious rhymed in its singsong 'I told you so,' voice. _She hated when it started rhyming it seemed to have a mind of its own now.

Shit. Shit, shit, shit.

SHIT!

_Shit. Verb. To tease or try to deceive. Something considered disgusting, of poor quality, foolish, or otherwise totally unacceptable. Foolish, deceitful, or boastful language. Insolent talk or behavior. Trouble or difficulty. See also interjection: Used to express surprise, anger, or extreme displeasure._

Tears rolled down her cheeks, as she realized to the exact extreme as to what she had done.

Seventeen years in a loving marriage and she had committed adultery. She had blown away seventeen years of her marriage for a few hours of fun. Not even fun. More like a romp. No, that sounded too promiscuous even, as if she wanted this to happen. She didn't want this, but than again, she could have said, "No."

All she had to do was refuse him, deny him, and give him a negative response. And she didn't do it.

Suddenly at that exact moment in time her cell phone rang. When she reached for her purse she looked at the caller ID.

It read,

Sandy.

Her heart skipped two beats, and there was a huge lump in her throat. She couldn't breath right.

Sandy.

Sandy.

Sandy, Sandy, Sandy, Sandy, Sandy, Sandy.

'_You just cheated on Sandy.'_

Sandy.

Her heart was pounding.

Sandy.

'_You just cheated on the love of your life.'_

Sandy.

Sandy.

A tear fell to the floor.

Sandy.

'_You just cheated on the best thing that ever happened to you.' _

Sandy.

Sandy.

'_You did it on a chair, you did it over there, while he ran his hands through your hair.'_

The phone stopped ringing, it kicked into voicemail.

One missed call, Sandy.

Sandy.

Sandy.

'_You just cheated on Sandy.' _

Sandy.

"That was him, wasn't it?" Jimmy's voice was blank.

'_Congratulations, Captain Obvious.' _

Sandy.

She nodded miserably.

Sandy.

Sandy.

Sandy.

Her breathtakingly, faithful, loving, husband, Sandy.

One new message flashed upon the screen with a little envelope.

She couldn't resist as her hands shook terrified. She pressed 1 to listen to her voicemail.

"Hey honey, it's me. Um, I was just calling to see where you're at; you've been gone for a while. Seth, wait a minute. Seth wants to know what kind of takeout you want. Anyway, call us back. I love you." She smiled tearfully at her husbands retort to Seth. She smiled at the way his voice said, _"I love you." _It was deep and tender, and roguish. Not to mention incredibly sexy. She could tell he was smiling when he said it. _"I love you." _

'_Where am I at Sandy? I just fucked your worst fear. That jealous fear you had of Jimmy? Remember? I doubt you've forgotten but you really have good reason to hate him now. Us. Now. To hate us. And I don't deserve you,' Mr. Rational proceeded to enlighten her. _

She frowned and looked at Jimmy frustrated.

_FFFFFUUUUCCCCCK!_

_Fuck, Fuck, Fuck. _

She was fucked; there was no other way around it. Totally, completely FUCKED.

_Fuck. Fucked, fuck·ing, fucks. Verb. To have sexual intercourse with. To take advantage of, betray, or cheat; victimize. Used in the imperative as a signal of angry dismissal._

She was fucked. Literally.

'_Yeah literally, and I do mean, literally, like all three of thee above. Down to a tee. Couldn't have done better if you had hit a tree,' It snickered in her head. _

She put the cell phone in her purse and gathered up her keys, wiping away her tears and trying to gather her composure, making a decision.

"This never happened Jimmy."

He ran a hand through his short hair, "Okay. Can you live with that?"

She looked at him. "Can you?"

He just looked at her blankly as she turned on her heel and walked out the door.

"I have to." She said coldly.

He nodded and gave her a slightly confused look. _'Is this all my fault?'_

"Sure. I can."

"Good." Her eyes were turning icy.

'_Hmm holy awkward, huh mother?' "Shut up," One of them yelled to Seth's irrational voice as it ransacked her brain._

"I'll call you. Do not call me."

He nodded again. Understood.

Satisfied she walked out to the Range Rover and put the keys in the ignition.

She took a shaky breath.

'_Yeah. Holy awkward, Seth.' Mr. Rational replied softly. _

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	2. Da Nouns

_This is so much fun to write! Famous 99 and britgirl2003, thanks for your reviews on the first chapter, i totally messed it up and reloaded it and blah blah blah.... oh and famous99? lol its definitly meant for a chuckle. _

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"_Constantly talking isn't necessarily communicating."_

"_Blessed are the forgetful, for they get the better even of their blunders."_

_-Eternal Sunshine for the Spotless Mind. _

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_Love. Noun. A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness. A feeling of intense desire and attraction toward a person with whom one is disposed to make a pair; the emotion of sex and romance. An intense emotional attachment. A person who is the object of deep or intense affection or attraction; beloved. Often used as a term of endearment._

_Love. Verb. Loved, lov·ing, loves. To have a deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward (a person): To like or desire enthusiastically. To thrive on; need._

"I love you Sandy." She repeated to herself in the car, glancing for the hundredth time in the mirror and adjusting her looked.

"I love you. I love you. I love you. ILOVEYOU! I. Love. You."

'_Your in trouble, actually technically double trouble. You're double the trouble in a bubble. You're head deep in rubble, trouble, double your troubles in bubbles, and cover them in rubble.' Mr. Irrational sang._

'_You know, you're really getting annoying.' Mr. Rational pointed out. 'Lets think about this for Kirsten, we can't rush into anything.'_

"Shit, what do I do?" She whispered to no one as she pulled up to her house, got out of the car and began walking to the front door.

Maybe, just maybe she could sneak into the house, take a shower and actually pretend nothing happened. That's it. She would just play it off like nothing ever happened, it would fade away into the sun and no one would ever mention it ever again.

_Denial. De·ni·al. Noun. A refusal to grant the truth of a statement or allegation; a contradiction. A refusal to accept or believe something, such as a doctrine or belief. An unconscious defense mechanism characterized by refusal to acknowledge painful realities, thoughts, or feelings._

"Hey honey!" His wonderful, deep voice greeted her and she smiled nervously at him. He walked over and placed a tender kiss on her lips.

He looked puzzled, "You okay," he pulled back and gave her the once over.

'_Oh, she's okay she got fucked. Literally. Fucked like a duck, in a truck, without any luck.' Mr. Irrational chuckled. 'Like a duck. Heh.'_

She paled. "Yeah sure, I'm just tired." _'I just cheated on you with Jimmy Cooper, that's all. No Biggie.' Mr. Rational spoke up. _

He smiled uncertainly at her and wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her close. She smiled lightly at him, leaned over to kiss his cheek and then began to walk into the kitchen, dropping her purse off on the end table.

He looked at her, his eyes held puzzlement and confusion as she had just blown him off. Shrugging, he followed her.

Walking in the kitchen he watched as she poured a huge glass of wine and drank it quickly. "Something I should know about?" His voice held concern.

She almost dropped the glass. "No. Why? Cooper."

"Huh?"

"JULIE Cooper – Nichol, whatever she is, she just drove me nuts today," she gave him a fake smile.

Sandy grined affectionately and kissed her shoulder.

She froze. Then relaxed. '_Jimmy had kissed your shoulder. Oh God, what if Sandy could smell Jimmy? What if he could smell her, what if she smelled different, like. Like, Ew don't make me say it. Fine, like sex. Like she and Jimmy just had sex. Oh that's so gross. Oh even the thought. Blah. Go get a shower.' Mr. Rational yelled loudly._

Again his eyebrows went up in puzzlement.

_Li·ar. Noun. One that tells lies. A person who has lied or who lies repeatedly._

'_Jimmy kissed you there. He kissed you there, he kissed you where?! Oh wow, he kissed you just about everywhere! Liar, Liar, pants on fire, now you need to go a little higher and find a buyer! Lie until your caught, that's what I always say.' Mr. Irrational finally gave some good advice. _

She smiled at him before taking her newly refilled glass of wine out of the kitchen and up into the shower passing Seth on the way.

"Hey mom," he said with a dazzling smile and a raised eyebrow to her almost overflowing glass.

"Hey sweetie," she said passing him in a rush, her face flushing.

"You look frazzled, Mom, you should get some sleep, or take your aggression out on dad. I can't believe I just said that, oh that's totally gross. Oh nasty."

She froze.

Deep breath. Swallow. Good. Continue. _'You did the nasty earlier,' Mr. Rational pointed out. _

Choke.

Re-securing her grip on the glass she continued and then shut the door to her bedroom.

'_Yeah you do look a little frazzled there. Maybe a little razzled even? I would be frazzlily-razzily too if I just got laid by the wrong man, who had a master plan, that you fell for like a woman named Diane.' Mr. Irrational sang, irrationally. _

'_Oh My GOD, would you please, shut up, Dr. Seuss? PLEASE? Just shut up for like twenty minutes?' Mr. Rational yodeled. _

_Silence. _

'_Thank you.' Mr.Rational said nicely. _

_Silence._

'_I could use your help without you rhyming. You are quiet intelligent you know.' Mr. Rational spoke. _

_Silence. _

'_Fine. What are you going to do Kirsten?'_

'_Sandy can't know. He simply can't. Neither can Seth, nor Ryan. You have to forget this ever happened. And you need to stop freaking out when your affectionate husband places a kiss somewhere. Hell, do what I would do, sleep with him.' Mr. Irrational spoke out, more rationally than Mr. Rational himself._

_If Mr. Rational would've had a jaw, it would have fell to the floor. 'Well spoken.... You would sleep with her husband?'_

_Silence. _

_Forget. For·get. Verb. To be unable to remember. To treat with thoughtless inattention; neglect. To fail to mention. To dismiss from the mind; stop remembering. _

How could she forget that Jimmy's hands were all over her, that they touched her skin? They held her where Sandy had touched her earlier. How could she just simply forget? Every single time she felt Sandy she thought, "Oh no Jimmy, what have we done?"

Sandy would be pissed off. No, he would, be more than pissed off, and maybe more than infuriated. There was a level of pissed off that she didn't even know of. She didn't even want to go there.

_Piss. Verb. pissed, piss·ing, piss·es. See also: Phrasal Verb_: _piss off_. _To make or become angry. Used in the imperative as a signal of angry dismissal._

'_Sandy will be pissed, he won't want to kiss, he'll definitely diss', you. He probably won't miss you.' Mr. Irrational started again. _

Sandy would be over the top, the 'shit storm rising from the east' type pissed. The please don't ever talk to me again I want a divorce type pissed.

"Oh God."

'_Dammit, she said it. She said the 'D' word.' Mr. Irrational spoke rationally. _

'_Oh hell not the 'D' Word. . Just don't tell him everyone will be a lot happier not knowing…He'll NEVER know. I won't say anything.' Mr. Rational piped in. _

_Divorce. di·vorce. Verb. di·vorced, di·vorc·ing, di·vorc·es. To dissolve the marriage bond between. To end marriage with (one's spouse) by way of legal divorce. To cut off; separate or disunite._

Oh God. She couldn't be without Sandy. What would she do? He was her everything, his kisses were the ones that calmed her, or aroused her. He was there when she needed him, even though she pushed him away. He never cheated with Rachael even though she suspected he had because of how much time she had spent with him. Then she goes off and kisses Jimmy. Oh God. She was a horrible person.

What was she going to do if he left?

'_Sleep with Jimmy?' Mr. Irrational asked. _

'_She was married and did that.' Mr. Rational pointed out. _

'_Eh, true. She starting to look a little blue.' Mr. Irrational looked over. _

'_Dude, seriously, I think you need to lay off the glue,' Mr. Rational chuckled. His alter ego was annoying at best, but he did have good advice, sometimes. _

'_Dude, seriously, I am so proud of you! We're rhyming together, its like better than forever!' Mr. Irrational chimed. _

She finished the glass and emerged from the bathroom surrounded by steam, clad only in a towel that barely dipped down to her sore thighs.

Sandy was there, with an amused expression on his face.

"Hey."

She smiled, "Hey…."

"Have you talked to Jimmy lately, I was hoping to go golfing with him later on…." He trailed off cause his wife dropped her towel and then in a hurried rush bent down to pick it up giving him the full luxurious view of her very sexy body.

"Umm…." He mumbled looking shocked.

She blushed pink. _'Smooth move there, chief.' Mr. Rational smirked._

"No, he called my cell today, but I missed the call because I was working and I was really busy and…."

'_You can shut up at any time now.' Mr. Rational said worriedly. _

"And yeah, I was really busy. Julie, you know, such a handful," she waived her hand dismissively while holding on to her towel and not succeeding.

"Mmm," he said nodding his head. "Julie Cooper."

Kirsten nodded smirking. "Good old Julie."

His advancement towards her was much faster than she anticipated and he caught her in his arms and pulled her close to his body.

She giggled as she felt strong arms around her and now both of her hands held on to the towel.

_Hickey. Hick·ey. Noun. A reddish mark on the skin caused by amorous kissing, biting, or sucking._

As the towel fell away Sandy's eyes swept her body and was concerned about the reddish, purple like mark near her collarbone.

He pulled back rather quickly and looked at her sharply, "What's this?"

'_Oh Shit.' Both Mr. Rational and Mr. Irrational yelled. _

"What's what?" She didn't know what he was talking about.

His finger traced the purple looking bruise near her neck and she froze.

"I…. I don't know?" She hoped her voice didn't break as bad as she thought it had.

'_Great. Way to go Jimbo.' Mr. Rational grumbled._

"It looks like a bruise, did you hit it?"

She rolled her eyes, "Julie."

"Julie?"

"Julie! She had a ficus plant and she hit me today right there, I totally forgot about it."

For the tenth time today her husband looked like she was psycho. "Okay honey," mumbled words came from her neck again. Sandy's lips were soft as they brushed lightly and tenderly against her skin. Unlike Jimmy's furious kisses where he missed spots on her skin, Sandy missed nothing; he had the patience of a cat. He would cover every inch of her body. It was his "thing."

Mmm. Sandy.

Wonderful.

Tantalizing.

Sensual.

Perfect.

'_Oh right there.' _

Mmm. Sandy.

Breathtaking.

Incrrrrrrredible.

Just right.

Enticing.

Sandy. Mmm, Sandy.

Her hands wrapped up into his hair tightly, "I love you," she moaned against him.

_Need. Noun. Condition or situation in which something is required or wanted. Necessity; obligation. _

_Want. Verb. Want·ed, Want·ing, wants. To desire greatly; wish for. To be in need of; require. _

She wanted him, but now she needed him, there was a difference, too. She needed to feel him against her. She wanted him to rock her world and to make her forget her, "Errors in judgment," so to speak. To feel his familiarity and the security that only he could bring. To forget that horrid deed she had done with Jimmy only hours early. That was a mistake, this was real, this was what she wanted and needed.

_Familiarity. Fa·mil·iar·i·ty. Noun. The quality or condition of being familiar. An excessively familiar or informal act; an impropriety. A sexual advance._

By now Sandy's hands held the familiarity that she so desperately wanted. His strong hands were skillful on her body, making her gasp out in pleasure.

_'Rock her socks, like a fox who eats lox!' Mr. Irrational rhymed. _

Sandy was skilled, very, very skilled at getting what he wanted and what brought that handsome smile to his face. That smile that made his head dip down and hair fall into his eyes, the bashful kind. The kind of smile that could light up the world, Sandy had that infectious type of smile, it could reach all the way up to his eyes and you could see it there. He could always get her to smile and if he couldn't, well, he always put up a good fight if not. She wanted to see that smile. Then the thought of what she had done earlier that day made her frown. How badly would his heart break if he ever found out? That smile that she loved would be gone forever.

'_How could you do what you did?' Mr. Rational spoke a little to rationally. _

_Slut. Noun. A woman adulterer. A dirty untidy woman._

That was what she felt like, first she got it on with her ex, not actually having a good excuse and then didn't even have the decency to tell her husband and now, now she was getting it on with him to remove the horrible feeling of unfamiliarity of herex's touch.

"Mmm God."

_'Mmm God, is right!' They smirked. _

He grinned at her, his kisses at the hollow of her throat. Tantalizing kisses.

Impossible to resist kisses.

Kisses to die for.

Sandy Cohen kisses.

Perfect.

'_If things were so perfect, then you wouldn't have cheated on him, with Jimmy would you?' Mr. Rational chimed in again, trying to make his point. _

'_Perfect, smurfeck, banana-fanna-mo-murfect, me, mi, mo ma, murfect, perfect!' Mr. Irrational sang._

_Perfect. Per·fect. Adjective. Being without defect or blemish. Excellent and delightful in all respects. _

Her life until today had been perfect. Now she had to live with her guilt and what she had done, and what she was doing now.

_Sin. Noun. Transgression of a religious or moral law, especially when deliberate. Something regarded as being shameful, deplorable, or utterly wrong._

Wrong. So horribly, inconceivably wrong.

_Mr. Rational muttered, 'I hope you can live with yourself.'_


	3. Da Rappa

Hey guys!!! I made it to texas!! All 20 hours by myself. Go me! anyway, I hope you all like this chapter, and I hope it posts okay cause Im on a computer older than me right now, no joke, and it sucks ass! Ill hceck it over, and see, anyway, please review!! You Guys Are Awesome!! Princess oates - lol im sorry if my review made me look like an ass munch, lol!!! ------ ------ ------ ------ 

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_At times the world may seem like an unfriendly and sinister place, but believe us when we say that there is much more good in it than bad... and what may seem like a series of unfortunate event might, in fact, be the first steps of a journey._

_-Violet Baudelaire, a Series of Unfortunate Events._

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_You cannot always be torn in two. You will have to be one and whole for many years. You have so much to enjoy and to be and to do. Your part in the story will go on. _

-Frodo, Lord of the Rings, Return of the King.

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_Disgust. Dis·gust. Verb. Dis·gust·ed, Dis·gust·ing, Dis·gusts. To excite nausea or loathing in; sicken. To offend the taste or moral sense of; repel._

Laying down with her husbands arms around her she cried silent tears. She was disgusted with herself. How could she do what she just did? She seriously felt like the biggest slut.

How could she do that?

'_Awe, don't cry…" Mr. Rational poked his head around the corner._

'_Cry… go ahead and cry, cry until you die…." Mr. Rational cut off Mr.Irrational._

'_Hey!'_

'_What?' Mr. Irrational feigned innocents. _

'_Don't tell her to cry until she dies,' Mr. Rational sputtered._

'_Sorry, it rhymed with cry! I don't want her to die,' Mr. Irrational defended himself. _

'_Well, use better words,' Mr. Rational sighed. _

Kirsten sighed shakily, she had to get out of the room before she woke Sandy. But his arms were so tightly around her that she knew that wasn't going to be easy, or if at all possible.

Oh she felt like an ass-hat.

_Ass Hat. Adjective. Idiotic, stupid. To act like a moron. _

How could she do this? HOW IN THE HELL COULD SHE SLEEP WITH SOMEONE AND NOT SAY NO? God, was she going to tell him? How the hell could she even tell him without tearing him apart, or her family? What would Seth or Ryan say? She was scared of what Sandy might even go out and door. Jimmy should probably talk to Summer's dad, just in case.

'_I'm a balla, high, roller baby (baby, baby), shot colla (that's right), _

_ain't nobody this crazy (like me),you a hatta (you a hatta), why you tryin to play me (I don't think he know),' Mr. Irrational sang Chingy._

'_WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?' Mr. Rational yelled covering his ears. _

'_You know the definition, of a balla?' Mr. Irrational asked. _

'_Hell no I don't know the definition, of a baller.' Mr. Rational's expression was to die for. _

'_Its c-h-i-n-g to the y,' Mr. Irrational chanted._

'_Huh? What's chingy? Chino?' Mr. Rational asked. _

'_HE'S A SINGER!' Mr. Irrational yelped. 'Not a CITY!'_

'_Oh.' Was Mr. Rational's rational response. _

'_What is she doing now,' Mr. Irrational asked the rational. _

'_Sobbing. You would know if you weren't ballin.' Mr. Rational said angrily. _

'_She better get out of bed, before Sandy sees.' Mr. Irrational spoke again, sanely. _

'_Yep.' Mr. Rational sighed._

'_I like them black, white, puerto ricon, or haitian, like japanese, chinese, or even asian, (okay),' Mr. Irrational chimed in. _

'_Oh, please shut up,' Mr. Rational said. _

_So Mr. Irrational hummed the tune as they watched Kirsten cry silently, dealing with the decision of a lifetime. _

_Decision. De·ci·sion. Noun. The passing of judgment on an issue under consideration. The act of reaching a conclusion or making up one's mind. A conclusion or judgment reached or pronounced; a verdict._

She had to tell him. Somehow. Her thoughts were starting to neb at her. Her heart was being torn in two.

'_Oh Kirsten. What a mess you got yourself in honey.' Mr. Rational sympathized. _

'_You did get yourself in a doozy, cause you had to be a floozy,' Mr. Irrational chimed his two cents in. _

_Mr. Rational glared and Mr. Irrational gave him a 'What?' look._

But she couldn't just tell him now, not after having the most incredible night with him.

'_Definitely incredible,' Mr. Irrational sighed. _

'_It was pretty good,' Mr. Rational admitted with a blush. _

There was no way to even bring up the subject. What was she to do, "Hey honey, um I had sex with Jimmy yesterday. No, no, honey, he sucked compared to you. Yeah it was totally awkward. Yeah you wouldn't believe the places…."

'_STOP! Please STOP!,' Mr. Irrational yelled. _

That most definitely wouldn't work.

A small shudder wracked her body and she felt him pull her closer and place a small kiss on her shoulder. Sandy was tuned into her needs even when he was sound asleep.

She had to get out of the room, away from Sandy so she could think of what to do, like there was really anything to do. It would break his heart. Ryan and Seth would look at her like she killed someone, she may as well have with the way Sandy was liable to react.

_React. Verb. To have or show a reaction. To exert or return or counteracting influence. _

She didn't know if she could take his reaction. What if it was that silent type, the brooding with the eyes you broke my heart and I can never forgive you kind. Or worse, what if he just started throwing things…knowing Sandy she should broach the subject with extreme caution.

'_Broach the subject? What is he, a warning label on a pack of cigarettes? WOMAN YOU CHEATED ON YOUR HUSBAND, with your ex-boyfriend, I don't think broaching is the word you want to use here.' Mr. Rational shouted._

'_Breath, stretch, shake, let it go, breath stretch shake, let it go, Wake these people up and show them they keep dreamin.'' Mr. Irrational sang. _

_Mr. Rational gave him a look. _

'_Mase,' replied Mr. Irrational._

'_I don't have any mace.' Mr. Rational growled. _

'_He's the rapper,' Mr. Irrational stated matter-of-factly. _

'_There is a rapper named mace, and chino?' Mr. Rational asked confused._

'_CHINGY! And Mase with an 'S' not the spray stuff.' Mr. Irrational retorted. _

'_We don't have time to worry about rapping' and ballin' we have a crisis on our hands!' Mr. Rational cried out. _

'_Well tell her some advice its what your good at.' Mr. Irrational chuckled._

'_I think YOU should tell her some advice, YOU were the one who was rooting her on.' Mr. Rational yelled. _

_Mr. Irrational covered his ears, 'I was not!'_

_Mr. Rational glared at him, 'Your exact words were, "you go girl!"'_

'_Well that's because she shut the door on you! I had to yell something!' Mr. Irrational defended himself. _

'_You could have yelled stop!' Mr. Rational yodeled. _

'_Okay. You know what?' Mr. Irrational asked. _

'_I have no idea.' Mr. Rational replied._

'_Breath, stretch, shake, let it go.' Mr. Irrational chuckled seriously._

Kirsten managed to climb out of Sandy's grasp and went downstairs. It was morning outside and she sighed.

What the hell was she going to do?

Just then Ryan walked in the kitchen and gave her a small smile. 'Hey."

"Hey, sweetie," she replied.

'_Yo, Ryan, my man, give some advice to dis' woman, what's it like to cheat on someone, and then have them find out the awkward way, like with a kid? Mr. Irrational asked. _

'_That was real smooth butt-cheese.' Mr. Rational chuckled. _

"You okay?" Ryan asked.

"Just got a lot on my mind sweetie," She smiled at him.

_Pregnant. Verb. Containing unborn young in the body._

'_SHIT!' They both yelled together. Neither one had thought of that. _

She froze, her whole body shuddered and she felt like she was going to be sick.

"Oh God." She muttered out loud.

Ryan looked up from his book, "What?"

"Nothing, sweetie, I just thought of something," she frowned.

'_QUICK! Run down to the ovaries and see what you can find out.' Mr. Rational cried out. _

'_Oh God,' Mr. Irrational sighed but did what he was told. _

This new thought had just brought on a new set of tears for Kirsten. Luckily she managed to make it into the shower before they were unleashed.

What if she was?

'_Who's the Daddy?' Mr. Rational pulled an irrational comment. _

"Who is the daddy," she spoke his thoughts out loud.

An abortion would be a choice. This time it would be so much harder, what if Sandy found out about this one, the fact that she could have aborted his child. Or what if she kept it and it looked like Jimmy? Then Jimmy would know and he would sue or something, Oh God it was so confusing.

'_Well he hasn't found out about the last one, yet…' Mr. Rational sighed. _

"Dammit," she muttered.

OR she could have the baby and pass it off as Sandy's. Then how would Jimmy feel?

'_He wouldn't know,' Mr. Rational countered._

'_He would if it looks like him,' Mr. Irrational spoke. _

'_Well?' Mr. Rational winced. _

'_Uh, they don't know much yet. Ms. Ova said that it's a real mess down there, she wanted to know what kind of show your running up here. I told her I had no idea. She said check back in a few hours, they should know something by then.' Mr. Irrational looked a little ill. _

_Mr. Rational nodded. 'Great. Just great.' _

_Tangle. Noun. A tangled twisted mass. A confusedly complicated state._

God, she was in a tangled mess right now.

'_Lets not jump to conclusions, okay?' Mr. Rational sighed. _

'_She needs to drink some vodka or something, this is way to confusing. This was supposed to be simple, sex with the ex that's it. Not sex with the ex, then with your husband, then let's wonder about the kid that might magically pop out in a nine months, Oy.' Mr. Irrational cringed. _

'_Vodka… I could do vodka,' Mr. Rational replied. _

Kirsten padded her way out of the shower, and downstairs again, and poured herself a large glass of orange juice and filled it with vodka. Luckily today was Sunday so she could rest in her vegged out state that she wanted to be in.

_Veg out. Verb. Vegged out. Vegging out. To spend time idly or passively._

So she sat outside, in the sun enjoying its warmth and the view of the ocean, musing that today may be the last of her normal days.

The last of her happy days with her husband and her sons before everything blew up in her face which it was likely to do.

She wondered how Jimmy was doing? The guy could hardly keep it to himself when he kissed her, now that she slept with him how was he going to handle that.

'_Probably not good,' Mr. Rational mused. _

'_He's probably thinking of you naked,' Mr. Irrational chuckled._

_Mr. Rational glared, 'Gross.'_

"Gross," Kirsten echoed.

The doorbell rang.

She rose and went to answer it, Sandy poking his head out from around the corner as she answered the door.

'_Shit. We're fucked!' Both of them yelled in unison. _

A very drunk Jimmy Cooper stood on her doorstep. Sandy didn't realize he was drunk and grinned at the site of him.

"What the hell are you doing here," she hissed before loudly greeting him with, "Hey Jimmy!"

Jimmy took a drunken step foreword before placing a sloppy kiss on her lips. "I want more."

'_We're done for,' Mr. Rational yelped._

'_That's for sure,' Mr. Irrational added. _

Sandy's grin turned into a frown, and he dropped the dish he was drying. He walked angrily to the door and pushed Jimmy away from his wife.

He looked at both of them angrily. "What the hells going on?"

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	4. The Simple Things

_I hope you guys like it, thanks for the reviews, I expect more!! Pwease? For me? :o)_

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"_It's a dream baby, it's a beautiful one, but you know dreams..."_

"_I know, aren't real. I know." _

_-What dreams may come._

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"_Now that was when people KNEW how to be in love. They knew it! Time, distance... nothing could separate them because they knew. It was right. It was real."_

_-Sleepless in Seattle_

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Sandy's unforgiving glare was torturous. His steely blue eyes cast from Kirsten to Jimmy and back again. He didn't understand why Jimmy Cooper was kissing his wife and why he was drunk at this hour of the morning.

He really didn't understand why Jimmy said the words of "I want more," either. What was there to want more of, what had happened that made him mention such a thing?

More of what was the exact question.

"I want more of your wife," Jimmy sputtered his self confidence slightly losing control as he saw Sandy's heavy gaze.

Kirsten placed a hand over her mouth and backed away slightly from the escalating situation. _'Here comes the truth, down by a booth, with a lady named Ruth!' Mr. Irrational chimed in. 'Actually if I was you I would head for the hills so to speak.'_

'_Brace yourself kid,' Mr. Rational winced._

Sandy scowled as he looked at his shaken wife who was backing herself away from him, and Jimmy who almost seemed to sober up overnight.

"Would anyone like to tell me exactly what is going on here?"Sandy's voiced dipped low, and it held the hint of hurt.

"Sandy I um, Kirsten, um she came over because I was having an issue and we started talking, and things got out of control…" Jimmy stammered.

"How far exactly out of control did it get?" Sandy whispered fiercely.

_Escalate. Verb. To increase in extent, volume, number, intensity, or scope._

No one answered.

"How far?" He repeated the anger in his voice raising.

"All the way," she barely whispered.

Sandy's head dropped to his chest and she knew the smile that she loved on his face was gone forever.

_Hurt. Noun. To feel or cause to feel physically or emotional pain. To harm too. Damage. _

The look of despair was evident on his face when he looked back up at her; his eyes ravaged with unshed tears.

"You're lying," his voice quivered. "YOU'RE LYING!"

She shook as his voice rang through the house like bells from a church. "Tell me you're lying, LOOK AT ME, and tell me that it's not true, that this is a sick joke, and you're lying." His voice riveted through the house again.

Ryan and Seth poked their heads out from around the corner. Both of them held a face that would make people quiver at a funeral. This was bad.

"You slept with Jimmy?" His voice was accusing, questioning, begging for her to say anything other than the truth. For anyone to say anything other than the truth.

She flushed as the tears rushed to her face and the truth was evident in her eyes as she could barely bring them to meet her husband's tearful gaze.

She could hardly muster a nod while Jimmy whispered "Sandy, I'm sorry."

"You're sorry, Jimmy? SORRY? Were you oh so sorry when you were fucking my wife? Or were you just sorry when she called my name out instead of yours?" Sandy spoke out venomously.

Kirsten winced.

"I don't know what to say…." Jimmy trailed off.

Sandy shook his head a smirk on his face that just displayed pure hatred, pure malice for the totally wrong, and awkward situation. A situation that he thought he never would ever be in.

"Sandy," she countered the tears in her voice as well as on her cheeks.

"DON'T," he spoke harshly as he looked at her and jerked away from her touch.

"Sandy," she pleaded, "Please…."

He shook his head at her, anger in his eyes, in his posture, "Please what Kirsten? Please forgive you? Why would I want to do that? This is what you've always wanted, Jimmy Cooper! Isn't it?"

She shook her head as the tears continued to fall down from her cheeks. "No… no never. It's always been you Sandy."

He broke into a grin, "If it's always been me, than why on earth would you cheat on me with Jimmy Fucking Cooper?" His words were ice.

'_Ouch.' Mr. Irrational spoke as Mr. Rational bit on his fingernails._

Encountering a moment of silence as Kirsten didn't have a response and Jimmy stared at the floor, he turned on his heels and walked calmly up the steps.

When Kirsten looked up she saw the shocked faces of Seth and Ryan and went to walk over to them before Seth bolted up the steps to his father.

"Seth?" She called out hoarsely.

"How could you mom?" He whispered fiercely pausing enough to look at her. "How?" He demanded.

She could say nothing, "I don't know, it was a mistake."

Seth smirked, "Yeah, a huge one."

Ryan not wanting to get involved in the situation but not wanting to be involved in a fistfight either walked past a tearful Kirsten and to Jimmy opening the door for him, "I think you should go, you've caused enough damaged today."

Jimmy looked at Kirsten and then to Ryan's determined gaze before slumping out the door like a rat.

Ryan slammed the door and while looking at the floor, he walked silently up the steps to where Seth had disappeared.

Entering Sandy's room he was shocked to find him packing two large suitcases.

"Dad, you can't leave…." Seth's voice held a sound of desperation that Ryan had never heard before.

"You're more than welcome to come with me son, but I will not stay here anymore." Sandy's voice was determined.

_Dread. Adjective. To cause great fear especially of some harm to come._

"Ryan, you too, if you want," Sandy managed to utter.

Seth had left the room and began packing. His mother cheated on his father, how could she? He didn't want to stay here, he didn't want to leave his Dad. He didn't know exactly what he would do and he sure as hell didn't want to find out.

Ryan walked down the stairs to where Kirsten sat, her arms around her body, tears falling from her eyes.

He managed to mumble the simple words, "Sandy's packing, and so are we," before stalking out to the pool house to grab some clothes.

Her heart stopped. Her worst fear, he was leaving and her boys were too. She was going to be left alone with no one. What was she going to do without Sandy, without her backbone, her best friend?

She heard the rush of feet and the slight groan of him as he hauled the causes down the steps. The gentle thud that came from them as he set them on the ground and took out the keys to the BMW. He opened the front door wordlessly and put them in the trunk before walking back into the mansion.

"Let's go Seth," he bellowed as he cast his eyes anywhere other than her.

When Seth rushed down the steps and past her without a single glance she let out a sob. She stood up and whispered, "Sandy, please, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. Please. Don't go, please?"

He frowned as he finally cast his eyes towards her, "I'm sorry too," he whispered as he leaned up and kissed her softly on the forehead before heading out the door, watching as Ryan sat in the backseat. "So sorry…."

"I'll make sure that one of the boys calls you," he managed to voice as he shut the door.

_Nightmare. Noun. A frightening dream._

'_Wake up, wake up,' The Rational's sang. _

Her world faded to black.

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Kirsten Cohen bolted awake in the darkness of night. She was sitting up in bed and someone's arms were around her and she didn't know whose, but it frightened her. She tried pushing them away but they wouldn't leave.

She couldn't breathe. All she wanted was air.

"Breathe. Kirsten, breathe," Sandy's soothing voice was speaking softly to her.

A hand gently cascaded down her back as a kiss was tenderly placed upon her bare shoulder. "Breathe baby, just breathe."

She finally gasped for air.

"Sandy?" Her voice was weak and her hand struggled to find his.

"It's me, honey, It's okay." Another soft kiss pressed into her temple.

"Why haven't you left?" She spoke hoarsely and trembled.

He squeezed her hand. "Where would I go?" His voice was puzzled and he managed to move behind her so he could pull her reassuringly against his chest.

"Sandy I cheated on you with Jimmy, I slept with Jimmy, why are you still here?" Her voice was starting to break. She didn't think she could take him leaving again. She could feel his steady heartbeat against her back, as hers pounded on wildly it was soothing, relaxing, it was calming her terrified body.

"When was this?" He asked gently with a hint of amusement in his voice.

"Two days ago, you remember it, you left…."

"Baby, Jimmy's been in Japan with Hailey for a week now, and two days ago you took Ryan and Seth shopping at the mall against their will, then we watched movies that night with the boys. It was just a dream."

'_Just a dream, just a dream, just a dream, _

_Thank God._

_Oh thank God.'_

He coaxed her into lying down as he moved and propped himself up on his elbows so he could reassure her and look at her fearful, but gorgeous face.

"There's no mark?" She asked as her hand swept up to her collarbone and traced where it would have been. His eyes followed her hand.

He glanced down and his eyes widened as he moved to inspect the skin closer. Her skin was rushed with goose bumps as he brushed his lips softly against her flesh before gently sucking. She felt a surge of heat course through her body, the grip tightening on his hand, and he only pulled back when he was satisfied with a mark that he could see in the darkness of their bedroom.

"There is now," he chuckled and brushed his lips against hers playfully.

She shivered and her hand came up to cup his face, brushing against the five o' clock shadow that had grown on his face. "Tell me you love me," she trembled.

He smiled the bashful grin that she loved so much, as he looked her over, noticing the fear that was still in her eyes, as he leaning down and kissing her deeply. "I love you," he whispered, his voice deep and safe as he moved and kissed her jaw line slowly. "I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you…."

"Don't ever leave me," she whispered desperately, as her hands tangled with his thick, dark, hair. She needed him, she needed to feel every inch of him against her. She needed to feel safe.

"I would never," he said lovingly as his lips found hers again and she deepened the kiss frantically.

"I love you," she whispered fiercely against his lips as her hands struggled with his shirt and boxers.

He smiled again as she tossed his shirt somewhere and her lips tickled over his collarbone and chest. "I know, I love you too," he said reassuringly and she felt his voice rumbled beneath her lips.

"Baby, I'm not going anywhere. It's okay," he placed another gentle kiss on her lips and pulled back to look at her.

She sighed shakily, "It was just so real," she trembled again and he leaned up and pressed a kiss to her temple.

"I would be scared too if I dreamt I slept with Jimmy Cooper," he grinned as she slapped his chest. "But I have you now, and I'm not leaving, okay?" His lips brushed against hers softly.

"Make me forget about it, Sandy, please?"

He smiled against her lips before kissing her passionately. "My pleasure honey."

"Be there in the morning?" It was more a statement than a question.

"I promise," he whispered before silencing her response with a deep, tender, kiss.

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End file.
